Eric Thomas advises readers on handling disruptive relatives and college residency

A reader living in Georgia believes her neighbor is attempting to defraud an Ohio university of in-state tuition. The neighbor plans to use the address of his son's brother, who lives in Ohio, to claim residency for the child. This specific detail anchors a column published on November 2, 2026, by R. Eric Thomas, who addresses three distinct domestic and academic inquiries. The first letter comes from a wife preparing a surprise 50th birthday party for her husband. She omitted the husband's brother from the invitation list due to a long history of physical fights and verbal abuse. The brother, who lives far away, learned of the event and plans to attend. The wife fears the brother will call the husband to spoil the surprise or arrive to cause a scene. Thomas advises the writer to prepare for two likely outcomes rather than attempting to manage the brother directly. If the brother spoils the surprise, Thomas suggests the husband ask his sibling to find another time to celebrate. If the brother simply shows up, Thomas recommends enlisting trusted friends to chaperone the relative before the event begins. He notes that trying to convince the brother not to cause problems often creates more stress for the host. The second letter involves a neighbor in Georgia whose son is applying to a large university in Ohio. The neighbor told a friend that the family would not worry about out-of-state tuition costs. He cited the address of his son's brother in Ohio as the means to qualify for in-state rates. Thomas explains that an address alone is rarely sufficient proof of residency. He points to the Ohio State Administrative Code, which requires supporting documentation such as voter registration. The code also often requires a sworn statement from an employer confirming the parent or legal guardian works in the state. Thomas observes that if the child is still a dependent and the parents live in Georgia, the plan may fail. He concludes that the writer can stay out of the situation unless she has more specific information. The final letter is from a widow whose late husband stood 6 feet 5 inches tall. She shares a story about how her husband answered questions about his height by saying he was 5 feet 17 inches tall. He would then add that he was too tall to play basketball, which ended the line of questioning. Thomas thanks the reader for the anecdote. The column appears in the Denver Post and is part of a regular advice series. Readers can submit questions to Thomas via email at eric@askingeric.com or by mail to P.O. Box 22474 in Philadelphia, PA 19110. He also maintains a newsletter and an Instagram account at rericthomas.com.

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